Three months later
He hated knowing he was dying, and hated even more that there wasn't a God damned thing he could do about it.
"Your condition is, unfortunately, terminal Mr. Christofferson," Dr. Traben told him after his first examination at the Great Lakes Naval Medical Facility; "I can give you something to make you comfortable, but no more treatment."
"So I just wait around to die?" Jack asked the doctor point blank. "Is that what you're telling me?"
Traben just looked at the man sitting in his office. This was the part of his job he hated most; telling patients he can't save them.
"Yes, Mr. Christofferson," he said; "That's exactly what I'm saying."
"You realize I have a young family to take care of," Jack said. He felt like he was grasping at straws.
"Yes, sir," Traben said; "But had you sought treatment for your condition when symptoms flared up, I might have been able to save you."
Jack knew the doctor was correct. He had felt symptoms about four years before he thought to seek treatment. He thought it was part of getting older.
"What is the next move, Doctor?" he asked.
"I can give you something to lessen the coughing and the pain," said Traben, "but if you have any additional symptoms, such as fainting or chest pains, you come here immediately."
"I was planning to go with my wife back to her home in Chicago," Jack said; "I'd have to come back here?"
"I'd suggest that you and your wife get a place here in North Chicago to stay while you're being monitored, Mr. Christofferson," Traben said.
"I'll talk it over with her," Jack said; "She knows this area better than I do."
Later, when Jack came back into the waiting area, Julia knew he'd gotten bad news. She could read it on his face.
"It's bad, isn't it?" she asked.
"It is," Jack said. "And strangely, I've made peace with it. It's you and the kids I worry about."
"We'll talk more about this when we get back to the Navy Lodge," Julia said; "Do they want to see you every so often?"
"It had been suggested to me to get a place here in case I need immediate medical attention," Jack said.
Julia sighed.
Now three months later, Jack practically lived in the hospital, having been admitted one night after taking the medication he'd been prescribed. He had a near fatal reaction to it, and Julia got him to the hospital on time. She came up several times a week from Chicago to visit, and on several of those visits she brought the kids. The younger ones could only stay a few minutes, but because Miri was 16, she could stay longer.
Miri had found out that she had been accepted at Northwestern, and looked forward to starting classes there in the fall. When she told Jack, he was proud of her, and told her so. After she left the room with Julia, he knew he wouldn't live long enough to see his daughter start college.
But it wouldn't be his cancer that would end his life.
Kimber was fixing her hair in preparation of meeting her parents and brothers at the airport, and she was a little nervous.
They were coming to Chicago to attend Kimber's graduation from Northwestern, and she had something important to tell them.
She was pregnant and expecting a boy in October.
Jamey was thrilled when he learned that Kimber was carrying his child. They discussed getting married, and had decided that could wait. They decided not to tell anyone about the impending arrival until after her graduation, but Miri confronted her one day and asked,
"Kimber, please forgive me for being out of line, but are you preggers?"
"Is it that obvious, Miri?" Kimber asked.
"A little," her niece said. "I think it's great!"
"I'm not telling your sisters or brother yet, or your mom," Kimber said; "Julia's got other things to worry about right now other than my being pregnant."
Miri nodded sadly. She knew. Jack was dying. He almost died one night a couple of months prior.
"You really like Jack, don't you?" Kimber asked. "You're not concerned that he's too old for your mom?"
"It's obvious they care deeply for each other, so the age thing doesn't really matter, does it?" Miri said.
"He's a nice man, Miri, and I'm sorry he's so ill," said Kimber.
"Thanks," Miri said; "He's been like a dad to all of us, and it sucks that we're going to lose him."
Kimber finished up the french braid and secured it with an elastic, then headed to the living room where Jamey was waiting.
"Ready to go, Kimber?" he asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be," she said; "I hope Mom doesn't take one look at me and ask me in front of Dad and my brothers if I'm pregnant."
"You are starting to show a little," Jamey said; "I think that's why Miri caught on so quickly. But you look okay. Don't be so damn nervous! Everything will be fine."
"I hope you're right, Jamey," said Kimber.
As they boarded their flight, Jordan's mind was not on her fear of flying.
It was on the daughter whose graduation she, David and their sons were going to attend.
Jordan had caught something in Kimber's voice one night when they were talking about plans to meet at the airport. It just didn't seem right to Jordan's ears.
She's trying to avoid telling me something, or she's hiding something, Jordan thought. That's both girls who are keeping something from me and David.
Jordan was certain that Niki and Drake had gotten married, but neither of them said a word. When she discussed her suspicions with David, he told her to back off.
"If they did, then they did, Jordan," David said; "You seem to forget those two are adults, and have been living together a while now."
"Mom!" Sam said to his mother, seeing that she was thinking about anything but finding their seats. "Earth to Mom!"
"Wha... you say something, Sam?" she asked as her thoughts vanished.
"Our seats, Mom? You have our seat assignments," the older of her two sons said.
"Yeah," Jordan said; "We're in first class. Sam, you and John are here in this row. Dad and I are in the row facing you."
They got settled in their seats, and John broke out the gum. "Gum anyone?" he asked.
"I'll take a couple sticks," his father said; "Jordan? Gum?"
"No, thanks, David," Jordan said, staring out the window.
"Jordan, you okay, love?" asked David.
"Yeah," she said; "Just don't like flying much."
David took her hand, saying, "I know, Jord, but this was the quickest way to get to Chicago. Kimber's graduation is the day after tomorrow."
Jordan looked at David. "I know, and it's silly of me to be so freaked out over flying. I worry too much."
"It's going to be okay, Jord," David said; "I'll be here if you want to squeeze all the blood out of my hand."
"Do I really squeeze that hard, David?"
"You do," David said; "But it's okay. It's just my hand."
I really have to get this fear under control, Jordan thought at the plane taxied to the runway. I'm just being silly.
She had to do this to get to Kimber's graduation.
II
Marsh wasn't happy that he'd spent three months in San Francisco, only to find that Julia Summers and her family weren't there. Meanwhile, A.R.M.'s finances were in critical meltdown.
The men he'd assigned to find Summers wanted to be paid for their work, and their travel back to their base in upstate New York. Marsh paid them, but that left the group's finances in dire straits.
He didn't want to have to use his own money to keep the organization going. DeWitt had pulled his funding, and another benefactor was about to. Marsh would only put his own money into the group if it were absolutely necessary. It was getting to that point.
He was beginning to hate everything about A.R.M. and its mission. It might be time to bail on this sinking ship, he thought as he stared out the window of his living room one afternoon not too long after returning from the failed trip to San Francisco.
Marsh wondered if he left A.R.M., would Nicoletta be willing to be with him?
He thought about Nicoletta more often that he really wanted to. Her green eyes haunted him, the memory of her touch captivated him. The promise he made to her pulled at his conscience. When he remembered that she was still dealing with her husband's death, he felt guilty.
"Ahh, Nicoletta," he'd sigh; "Why do you haunt me so? I can't be with you. I'll only bring you down with me. You are so much better than me. Go and have a wonderful life and try to forget about me."
He knew that he'd never forget her. She was the only person he really trusted in the fucked up world he occupied.
"Wherever you are, my sweet green eyed angel, please know that I will always love you..." he said to the window in front of him.
He desperately wanted to be Edward Marshall again. If only to hear Nicoletta cry out his name as he made love to her.
"Oh, God!... Edward!"
Nico contemplated going back to work. Then she'd decide not to. She wavered back and forth over the decision.
It was Eddie. She missed him, and to go back to the way she met him pained her soul.
Thoughts of Eddie and their brief time together always made her feel like she was disrespecting Steve's memory. But Eddie's vulernability always made her think of what he was capable of.
She made him promise not to hurt Julia Summers, her family or anyone close to her. Somehow, Nico knew that something terrible was going to happen to the woman who was one of A.R.M.'s enemies. Whether it would be at Eddie's hands, or someone else's, Nico wasn't clear on. All she knew is that she was powerless to stop whatever plans A.R.M. had in mind for Julia and the men she considered her brothers.
Nico knew that her main job now was to raise her children. They were dealing with their father's death pretty well with the help of grief counseling. Steven and Kit were doing well in school and would soon enter high school. It was Cole she worried about the most. He seemed to take his father's death the hardest. He'd bounced back after having nightmares about his father and whether the nine year old could have prevented what happened to him. Nico assured her son that sometimes, she wondered that, too.
"It was just his time, wasn't it, Mom?" Cole asked one afternoon.
"Yes, Nicolas, it was. We have no power over that," his mother said.
"You think he's happy?"
"He's in a much better place," Nico said; "So yes, I think he's happy."
When she was alone, Nico's thoughts almost always turned to Eddie, and where he was, what he was doing. She wondered if he missed her as much as she missed him. The conclusion she always came to was no.
He had a goal, and Nico was sure that he would do anything to achieve it.
Promise or no promise.
Nico knew that she had to make a decision soon about going back to the police force. Her leave was about to run out.
Kathryn discovered that she loved to drive. She took to the lessons she got very quickly, and she wondered if she was just remembering something that Chastity already knew how to do.
She and Christian spent a lot of time together, both alone and with their daughters. She often wondered if life could be more content.
Then she'd get scared that Chastity would try to return, and she'd hide out in her studio and paint. A lot of what Kathryn came up with she was scared to show to Christian. It was so dark, so violent, so...Chastity.
She'd talk to Cameron about her feelings, and the psychotherapist would give her coping mechanisms to deal with the thoughts she sometimes had about what she didn't remember.
The dream she'd had about the little boy named Eric still haunted her. She wondered where he was, and was he being taken care of.
She and Christian discussed having another child, but Kathryn found that the idea scared her. What if Chastity returned while I was pregnant? Would she try to harm the child? always ran through Kathryn's mind.
Her anxieties always came out in her art. One of the drawings she had completed was of the little boy she remembered from her dreams. She felt bad that, like Kelly, she had abandoned that poor little boy with an abusive father. At least Kelly was raised by my parents, Kathryn thought. And maybe the people who adopted Eric were taking care of him.
"Here you are," Christian said as he discovered Kathryn in her studio; "I'd wondered where you'd gone off to."
"Just trying to cope with things the best I can," she said; "Sometimes I have to see it visually so that it all makes sense. Sometimes, I feel like I'm not in control of my own mind."
"Do you think that Chastity is trying to return?" asked Christian.
"Not really, but all these dreams and thoughts, and the blank spots I have about my past sometimes compel me to come down here and put them in perspective," Kathryn said.
"Does it help?"
"At times, it does," Kathryn said. "I get it out of my system and I feel better."
Christian walked over to Kathryn and put his arms around her. He knew that she sometimes felt apprehensive about the things she couldn't remember.
"Helene's recital is this evening," Christian reminded her; "It's at 7pm. Do you still want to go?"
"Yes," Kathryn said; "It will be the first time I've seen her dance since she was nine."
"She's a little nervous," Christian said; "Maybe a little pep talk from you will calm her."
"She's nervous? About what?" asked Kathryn.
"Dancing knowing you're in the audience," Christian said; "She doesn't want to let you down."
"I've seen how hard she works in her studio," Kathryn said; "She shouldn't be nervous. It's just me."
"Maybe you can tell her that," Christian suggested.
"I think I will," Kathryn said; "Is she down here or upstairs?"
"Upstairs in her room, getting ready," Christian said; "She has to be there at 5:30 for dress rehearsal."
"I'll go talk to her," Kathryn said.
"I think it will ease her mind some," Christian said, leading Kathryn out of her studio and up the stairs.
Helene shouldn't be nervous because of me, Kathryn thought.
III
Julia sighed. This isn't what she or Jack had in mind.
He was back in the hospital. Again. This time, Dr. Traben suggested that he stay awhile.
"The cancer is getting more aggressive, Jack," he said; "You'll either need hospice care, or stay here. Your choice."
"Isn't there anything you can do to stop it?" asked Jack, already knowing the answer the doctor was going to give.
Traben shook his head no. "You're endstage now, and though I wish there was some miracle cure for you, there isn't."
"I think I'll stay here," Jack said; "Hospice care in my home would mean that the children would watch me dying, and they've dealt with enough drama in their young lives as it is."
"I'll have you admitted to the research wing so that I can still check up on you," Traben said. He then took his leave.
Jack let out a heavy sigh after the doctor left. Julia was sitting in a nearby chair, trying not to show too much emotion.
"It's not fair!" she said; "I feel so helpless, just like I did after Ryan died."
"Julia..." Jack said; "I'm so sorry to have to make you go through this again."
"That's not what I'm upset about," she said; "I'm upset that whenever I find someone who loves me, they die on me."
"Are you regretting us getting married?" asked Jack.
"No, I'm not," Julia said; "That was the only thing I was sure about. Being your wife for the short time you still have."
"I'm glad you didn't change your name, though," Jack said.
"How would I explain that to people here?" Julia asked him; "I'd get accused of having Stockholm Syndrome or something. It was never anything like that!"
"How are you going to explain it to your parents when they come for your sister's graduation?" asked Jack.
"I'm not," Julia said; "I love my mom and David, but not even Kimber knows about our marriage. I'd like to keep it that way."
"Kimber is a very nice girl, and very intelligent," Jack said; "A Bachelor's at 20 is nothing to sneeze at."
"Not even the kids know your real name," Julia said; "Except for Miri. And she's kept it quiet. I'm glad that Ryan and I explained all that to her when she was still young."
"I just hate that she's going to lose me so soon after losing Ryan," Jack said.
"She understands that," Julia said; "She's not okay with it, but she understands that sometimes life works that way. At least she still has her friendship with John Crossley. As long as he doesn't try anything to pressure Miri, I have no problem with him seeing her."
"He is a nice young man," Jack said; "And I can't help but think that my given name is John, and my wife's name was Mirielle. Weird how that works."
"Maybe it's an omen. A good omen, but I'm not going to press the issue," Julia said. "As long as Miri is still under 18, there won't be anyone getting married at 17 like I did."
"Yours was a special case," Jack said; "You were out of school, working for the resistance. You were way ahead of your peers in everything. Taking legal steps to make you an independent minor was the best thing your folks could have done for you. Maybe you should consider it for Miri since she'll be going to college in the fall. That doesn't mean she can marry at 17."
"I'll have to play that by ear," Julia said; "But at the moment, it's you I'm concerned about."
"I know Julia," Jack said; "But you should go to your sister's graduation and not worry about me."
"I will, but I'll still worry about you," Julia said; "I jump every time the damn phone rings, afraid it's going to be Dr. Traben telling me you've passed."
"When it's my time, Julia," Jack said; "I'll go gratefully. Mirielle will be waiting."
Julia smiled. She knew that's what he looked forward to after he died. To finally be reunited with the girl he fell in love with at 15.
And she was okay with it. It didn't mean he loved her any less.
Kimber was the center of attention on the day she received her Bachelor's degree in Journalism. Her parents were very proud, even though David had to deal with people coming up to him and asking him for his autograph. He signed all he was asked to, telling parents, "This day is about your graduate, not about me."
Kimber was thrilled to see that her twin and Drake were able to make it. There had been some doubt as to whether they could because Niki was going though one more round of chemotherapy. They had arrived at the house just as everyone was headed to Evanston for the ceremony that was to begin at 3pm.
"Niki!" Kimber cried out upon seeing her sister; "I'm so happy you and Drake could make it!"
She gave Niki a hug and inadvertantly gave away her secret.
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" whispered Niki.
"Yes," Kimber said.
"When?"
"October 12th."
"Do you know...?"
"A boy."
"I'm so happy for you, Kimber!" said Niki. "I take it that no one knows yet."
"Miri and Julia do, and now you do, but no one else," Kimber said. "I'm going to tell Mom and Dad this evening."
"You know I'm jealous, right?"
"You shouldn't be," Kimber said. "You'll get another chance."
"I know, Kimber," Niki said. "But I'm going to get a nephew! That's so exciting!"
"Shhh, Niki, don't spill the beans!" Kimber said as Drake and Jamey attempted to get the sisters in the cars and off to the ceremony.
Once on campus, it seemed like Kimber's family took up an entire section of the facility all by themselves. Kimber looked up from the graduates area and saw her sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, cousins, and her parents. She decided that when and if Niki graduated from UT Austin, she was going to throw the biggest party for Niki that Texas has ever seen.
Later, as the graduates were being called up, David leaned over to Jordan and said, "There's our baby, going to make a huge splash in the world."
"I'm so proud of her, David," Jordan said; "I can't believe that she's all through with school..."
Just then Kimber's name was called; "Kimberlin Michelle Draiman, Bachelor of Arts, Journalism."
Cheers went up from her family in the stands. Kimber looked up, almost half expecting her father to do his famous monkey yell. But he didn't much to her relief.
After she had her sheepskin, it seemed that the ceremony lasted forever.
And she had to pee.
Thank you, Andrew James, she thought.
IV
The ceremony was finally over, and Kimber sought out the first ladies room she could find. It was a relief to empty her bladder. As she exited the restroom, she ran right into her mother.
"Just couldn't hold it anymore, huh?" Jordan asked playfully.
"You sit through all that and not have to pee," Kimber said.
"Everyone is out front waiting for you, Kimberlin," said Jordan. "Your dad has this crazy idea to take everyone out to an early dinner. He thinks it will shut Rachel and Aaliyah up for five minutes. They talked throughout the entire ceremony!"
"See, joined at the hip, as if the six months they were apart never happened," Kimber said.
"Julia's going to head back to North Chicago as soon as we eat," Jordan said; "Apparently her friend John isn't doing well."
"He has endstage lung cancer, Mom," Kimber said; "And Julia wants to spend as much time with him as she can. She feels she owes him for hiding her and the kids for so long."
"Julia's always been a nurturer," Jordan said; "I noticed that when she was nine years old and she'd come over to visit. And she was great with you girls when you were babies and toddlers. I knew she'd be a good mom then."
"You don't think there's anything more going on between them?" Kimber asked.
"Why should I?" asked Jordan; "He is considerably older than she is."
"I don't know," Kimber said. "Maybe they're just friends and I want it to be something more. Julia deserves to be happy."
Jordan knew that was her thought as well, but Julia in a relationship with a man older than both she and David? She couldn't see it.
"Your dad's waiting Kimber," Jordan said instead. "He's liable to get impatient if we keep him waiting too long."
"Dad? Impatient? After all he's been through, he's still pretty calm," Kimber said as they walked out of the arena and to where the family was waiting. Kimber only hoped that the flowing summer dress she wore kept her secret until that evening when she and Jamey planned to tell them about the expected new edition.
A threatening presence would soon make itself known to all in Julia's family in Chicago. That presence, in the form of an enemy from the past, would turn Julia Summers' world upside down, sideways, and apart.
That presence, soon to take up temporary lodgings near where Jack Coltrane was hospitalized, would end the life of the man Julia Summers had married in a secret ceremony just eight weeks before.
It would force open the trained assassin compartment of Julia's personality and keep it open until either the presence was no more, or until someone stopped Julia from carrying out a dangerously emotional mission, or it led to Julia's death.
It would impersonate the doctor that was tasked with making Jack's end of life more bearable, allowing it to carry out its diabolical mission of revenge. Traitors to its cause must die, and it would make sure at least this traitor would never know how much danger he was really in.
It would fight an angry and disbelieving 16 year old girl to a draw. Only then would the presence disappear.
But Julia would hunt it down like she stalked her targets from the time she was 14 years old onward.
A man would beg her to kill him, and she would almost complete the task.
Then fate would intervene, allowing the man to escape once more. He would disappear on his own, hiding in plain sight with the name he was given at birth.
But as Julia and her extended family celebrated her sister's college graduation, they were unaware of any of this.
Lincoln Marsh stepped out of his motel room near the Great Lakes Naval Training Facility, himself unaware of where his plans for revenge would take him.
Julia Summers wasn't even on his mind, but a woman with the same birthdate was.
Nicoletta. She was so close, he could almost feel her touch on his skin.
And he couldn't go to her. Not now; maybe not ever.
Marsh's promise to the woman who occupied his thoughts for nearly six months all but forgotten until a chance meeting.
Only then he would realize what he had done.
After everyone returned to Chicago after the ceremony and a late lunch, Kimber took her parents aside. It was only she and Jamey, and her parents, in the house. Her brothers went with Nik to hang out with his sons.
"David," Jordan said as they were getting settled in one of the guest rooms, "Kimber said she and Jamey needed to talk to us."
"About what?"
"I don't know, she didn't say," said Jordan. "Maybe now that Kimber's graduated, perhaps they're making plans to marry."
"I wouldn't mind having Jamey Duncan as a son-in-law," said David; "Just as I wouldn't mind having Drake as one, if he and Niki got married anytime soon."
"Jamey is a good fit for Kimber," Jordan said; "I worried about the age difference, but it doesn't bother them, so I shouldn't let it bother me."
"Well, let's go see what the youngsters have to say, Jord," David said, chuckling, perhaps realizing how stupid he sounded.
And they left the guest room and headed to the living room to wait for their daughter and her beau.
In the bedroom that would be their son's when he arrived, Kimber told Jamey, "I'm going to show Mom and Dad the ultrasound pictures I had done last week and let them draw their own conclusions."
"I think they'll be thrilled, Kimber," Jamey said; "But we should also tell them that we are planning to get married at some point, too. I have a feeling your father is going to ask about that."
"I know he will," Kimber said.
"Let's get out there, then. It's not nice to make the grandparents wait," Jamey said.
"Mom, Dad," Kimber began, "we have something important to tell you."
Her parents were sitting on the couch, while Kimber made herself comfortable in the recliner Jamey bought for her after she told him she was expecting.
"Well, my dear," Jordan said, "what is it?"
Without a word, Kimber handed her mother, who was sitting closest to her, an envelope.
"What's this?" her father asked.
"Look inside, Dad," said Kimber.
Jordan took what appeared to be pictures out of the envelope and looked at them, then handed them off to David to inspect. Kimber noticed her mother looking at her, then back at the pictures, then at her father.
"You're pregnant?" both David and Jordan asked at the same time.
The look on the younger couple's faces told the whole story.
"David, look at this one," Jordan said. "What do you see in this one that wasn't in the others?"
"You're having a boy?" David asked.
"Yes, Dad," Kimber said. "We're expecting a little boy in mid October."
David looked at Jamey and asked, "You're okay with this?"
"Couldn't be happier, David," Jamey said. "I wanted to tell everyone right away, but Kimber thought we should wait."
"All I can say is wow!" David said; "and congratulations! Jord, I'm gonna be a real grandpa now!"
Jordan smiled at him. "I know David," was all she said.
"You have always been a real grandpa, Dad," Kimber said; "You mind telling all those kids you're not?"
"You know what I mean, Kimber," David said; "You're having my first biological grandchild."
"I was hoping it would be Niki, but I'm thrilled that I get that honor," Kimber said. "By the way, Niki, Miri and Julia already figured it out. We haven't told anyone else because we wanted to tell you guys first. Jamey's parents are deceased as you know, and his siblings don't know yet. We'll tell them eventually."
"You know that Rachel and Aaliyah will have a ton of questions, and will want to help out," Jordan said; "Are you two ready for that?"
Both Kimber and Jamey nodded. "We sure are," Jamey said.
"Names?" Jordan asked; "You have thought of a name for your son, right?"
"We're going to name him Andrew James," Kimber said.
"I like that," Jordan said. "Your dad wasn't too keen on Andrew when your brothers arrived."
"I liked the name," David said; "But the ones we chose were better."
"Whatever, David," Jordan said, laughing.
Later in bed that night, Kimber sighed in relief that her parents took the news so well, and that her father didn't ask Jamey what his intentions were.
She was drifting off to sleep when she thought she felt her baby move.
"Cool," she said to herself.
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